


laughing 'til our ribs get tough (that will never be enough)

by MissCatherineEarnshaw



Category: The Pacific (TV)
Genre: Angst, Inspired by Music, M/M, My poor babies, Songfic, unrequited feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2018-04-09 12:20:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4348552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissCatherineEarnshaw/pseuds/MissCatherineEarnshaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>He knows Eugene like you know a part of yourself – like the back of your own hand. This is what happens when you spend almost every day since you're five year old with the same boy.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Inspired by Lorde's Ribs</p>
            </blockquote>





	laughing 'til our ribs get tough (that will never be enough)

**Author's Note:**

> There is not enough Sid/Sledge on this website. There it is, I said it.  
> As usual, not betae'd and I'm actually french.  
> Have a good reading, and remember that reviews & kudos are love :)

* * *

 

 _The drink you spilt all over me_  
_"Lover's Spit" left on repeat_  
_My mum and dad let me stay home_  
_It drives you crazy getting old_  
  
_We can talk it so good_  
_We can make it so divine_  
_We can talk it good, how you wish it would be all the time_

Sidney has always felt like he knew Eugene. Scratch that, he has always _known_  he knows Eugene.

He knows Eugene like you know your best friend. He knows who was Eugene's first kiss – Mary Huston, behind the school playground. Still remembers how giddy and flushed he was when he told him, both from the kiss and from his long run to Sidney's house to announce him proudly – it sure sounds ironic now. He knows the sound of Eugene's laugh when he has had a little too much to drink – joyful and louder than usual.

He knows Eugene like you know a member of your family. He knows the ages of every single Sledge, how Eugene behaves when he is with his parents and how he behaves when he is _not,_ what Eugene enjoys most at Christmas – the silent walk from the mass at the local church, the smell of the Christmas tree's needles – and what he hates – his mother fretting over the diner, his distant relatives and their tedious inquiries about his life.

He knows Eugene like you know a part of yourself – like the back of your own hand. This is what happens when you spend almost every day since you're five year old with the same boy.

 

This is partly why Sidney is so happy to see Eugene on this dry, bare land, in this goddamn Pavuvu camp. The war has been slowly gnawing at him, from the moment they left the American soil, pieces by pieces. He doesn't allow himself to ponder on this, but there are days he thinks he has been turned into someone he doesn't recognize anymore. He knows the war will take its toll on Eugene too, eventually, but for now he is thrilled to see the bright-eyed boy, still clinging to his ideals of _loyalty_ and _patriotism_. Sid reaches for him, keeps him close and somehow this innocence becomes his again, and he feels like he has just won back a part of himself.

 

When he comes back to the States, he is alone for a while. And then Mary comes along, in all her juvenile splendor, her joyful smile showing white teeth, the sweet perfume of her brown curly hair. She grows on him, slowly but steadily, and Sid wants to believe they will be a whole, that she is the only thing he will need to feel complete. It seems like day after day, the hollowness caused by Eugene's absence- left back in the Pacific, surrounded by the bloody mud and the sound of mortars- begins to wither, and he takes it as a good sign. After all, this is what is supposed to happen, isn't it ? You grow up, become an adult and the most important person in your life is no longer your childhood best friend but your wife. It is only natural. By the end of the two years he has known Mary he has managed to convince himself of that. This when he decides to take her hand and ask her if she will be his. She says yes and he feels like he has never been happier in his life.

 

And then, Eugene comes back, all haunted eyes and weary smiles, and Sidney feels like all the air has been squeezed from his lungs. He does not know this Eugene, and that thought chills him. He suddenly realizes he has been a fool to believe he didn't need his best friend presence anymore. Gene is still a part of him, engrained in his very bones – he cannot shake him away. And so he tries to claim him again, tries to enliven him, because letting Eugene in this dim state is like letting a part of himself die, and he cannot let that happen. Sid grabs, holds tight, and still it feels like Gene's withering away.

One night, as they're sat in the warm atmosphere at another of these pointless social gathering, he tries something he has never considered before – he leans on and make a quick peck on his best friend's lips. Eugene stares at him with bewildered eyes, but Sidney recognizes the flushes in his cheekbones– it brings back memory of a hot June afternoon, many years ago- and so he grins and kisses him again, thrilled when his best friend begins to shift closer and respond, trailing his fingers in Sid's blond curls. This is not something they have ever done before but it feels achingly familiar, and Sidney feels a surge of joy. If it all it takes to have his old Eugene back, he will do it without hesitation. Without remorse, even, because he can't bring himself to believe what they're doing is wrong. Not if it both give them what they need.

But then Eugene breaks apart and shifts, further away from him, his face unreadable. _This is no good_ he whispers, and Sidney doesn't so much hear the words than he sees them formed on his best friend lips. _You don't want me that way_ he adds , his shoulders slightly slumped , and Sid reaches for him , as ever, cupping his face gently. _I want_ _**you,** _ he answers , softly. He is not lying and Eugene must see it because when he replies, his tone is gentle. _I know. But I'm_ _not_ _the_ _one_ _you want this close to you._ His face is pained when he adds, before Sidney has the time to cut him, _You're not the_ _one_ _I want this close either._ His eyes stare into the horizon, hard and focused, and realization suddenly dawns on Sidney . For all this time he has worried about himself, the integrity of his _soul_ or whatever, he has never bothered to ask himself what has happened to Eugene's own. For the longest time he has thought that what made the ginger's brightness had simply been drained, slowly, to fester with the corpses and the maggots on this cursed Asiatic ground- maybe hoped in some dark corner of his mind that his absence at Gene's side sped up the process- but now he wonders if it has not been claimed by someone else instead. Someone who took a liking at Eugene, claimed his being as part of his and never bothered to hand it back.

Whoever that person this, Sidney knows they don't deserve Eugene. If they did, he wouldn't in this state now.

 

 

 _This dream isn't feeling sweet_  
_We're reeling through the midnight streets_  
_And I've never felt more alone_  
_Feels so scary getting old_

 _I want them back (I want them back)_  
_The minds we had (the minds we had)_  
_How all the thoughts (how all the thoughts)_  
_Moved round our heads (move round our heads)_

 _You're the only friend I need (you're the only friend I need)_  
_Sharing beds like little kids (sharing beds like little kids)_  
_And laughing 'til our ribs get tough (and laughing 'til our ribs get tough)_  
_But that will never be enough (but that will never be enough)_

 

 


End file.
